On obligation, responsibility and rights

As a mother, I have a lot of responsibilities, obligations and duties, which I try to the best of my ability to fulfill.  I am not perfect and no doubt have made countless  mistakes and probably will continue to make more in the future.

I have tried and am still trying to raise my three boys into men, who know what is right, who will take responsibility for their actions and who will – when push comes to shove – execute their obligations towards society as a whole and their family, future and present.

I see my children as individuals, do not expect them to be the same or react as clones, I have applied indistinguishable methods, while bringing them up, each one of them functions according to a different tune and I am fine with that.  All three are more messy and disorganized compared to me and the way I have been teaching them.  And that is okay too.  I am waiting for the aha moment that will enlighten them and which will reveal to them that order and organization ultimately saves them a lot of time…until that date, I will pick up and clean up and assist in organizing-but not without the motherly nagging!!!!

One son has been getting up on his own for many, many years- he knows that when he has to be somewhere at a certain time, he will be on time.  The other son, has been giving me a headache for the last 5 years…he does not feel obliged to get up(by himself), and be punctual…I suppose he is lacking in the embarrassment department, cause he is continuously late for everything and refuses to acknowledge that I don’t particularly enjoy having to tell him(a billion times) to get up or resort to snatching his blankets away to get him out of bed!!!

Once they turned 18 they were full of themselves and their rights….all their legal freedoms spread out in front of them.  But I have not seen much in the obligations area.  When asked to work during summer breaks, the answers range from I am a kid and I need to relax and have fun to  What, work for 5 Euros an hour, are you nuts?  For the life of me, I can’t barely get one of them to come to the supermarket with me and help with the hauling of the shopping(I have no car!!), or convince them that once every 5 weeks, we are in charge of bringing up the garbage bins for trash collection, nor freeing the sidewalk from snow in front of our building!  While they either sleep, play endless loud hours on the playstation or hang out on their computers, mother does!!

Their generation knows everything, but doesn’t want to get their hands dirty.  Shaped by reality T.V. and the 5 minutes of fame(an epoch of narcissism is upon us), they want it all-whenever and however- but are neither willing, nor in some cases able to do what it takes(I am not saying that there are no exceptions, but many mothers of boys, are called upon to motivate, tempt and bribe to get them to do what they are supposed to do).  They want their privacy and insist on being left alone when they feel like it, lock themselves in their rooms, they want consideration and understanding.  Can they relate, that since they were born the only time a mother has any privacy, she has to bolt herself in the bathroom and still be faced with little or big hands knocking or shouts of MOM emergencies?  (And then there are those moments, when the whole house is empty and everyone is either in school or at work…provided, the mother isn’t employed somewhere herself).

What happened to the era when boys adored their mothers and would bend over backwards to assist them and chivalry was a virtue???  It appears to have been replaced with egotism, a foreign word to a mother(most).

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